a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
