I must be too annoying 4 u.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
