He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
