he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
