I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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