we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
