Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
