just come out here and I will go home with you...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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