how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
