I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
