help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
