i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
