worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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