I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
