i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
