I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
