im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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