ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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