im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
