babies were throwing up all over the place
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
