Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
