ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
