ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am spending my child support on dildos
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just found a bag of teeth...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
