Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
