She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
