worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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