he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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