I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
