I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
