How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
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