It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
