peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
