Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
