I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
