My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
