went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
