i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
