i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
