In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
