On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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