I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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