I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
