you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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