You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
