Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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