how can u be prego again
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
