Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
