butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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