Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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