Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
